BOY. I know it's been so long.
Me and my best friend, the procrastination, been together again I know. So without anymore rambling, let's continue to the next part!

• May 

My graduations month! Ulala (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Although there are many things to takes care, this will be very brief pointed explanations to sum up this month activities. Before 18th of May basically my activities was working at SDM UGM on the daytime, while attended TOEFL preparation class after office. On my free time, I'm searching for klenik klenik wisuda, lol. Such as booking MUA, scrolling to a dozen pages of make up looks and nailarts (me, being hyperbolic, I know), and finally hunting kebaya wisuda.
Approaching my wisuda day, my grandmum (accompanied by my auntie, coz she did not feel so well atm) come around the town to attend the wisuda ceremony. And very fcuking finally, on May 18th I graduated from law school, bitchas! Well, little did I know that suffering was about to begin atm, but, at least I have a major happiness-rush (is dis even a word??) on that day. I did take the mandatory studio photo with my family and Taek-A, and end up eating late lunch together. My graduation day was not as perfect as I planned to be, but, I guess nothings perfect, tho. So yeah, cool.
Things that I didn't expect was so many people came by to congratulate me on that day. And, you know, on that day everything felt so good. It's very easy to felt thankful, pure joy, blessed, and cheerful on the bright, sunny day like those day. I must think that I might be a little bit optimistic that day, If I'm capable to feel such a thing. But, yeah, despite everything that I ended up today, those day really felt the blast.

Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah. Thanks to all folks who came that day despite of every obstacles.

Taek-A, Ukhti, KKN-JTM 19, Danies, Bunga, Ruth, DEMA, Barokah Family, Pubdok, and My Family.

And yes, you can easily tell that May 2016 was the highlight month of this year. This is my personal favorite month in 2016 where everything running smoothly and full of blessings. Well, I wish I could say December, but nah. My luck was never even that great.
Another thing that I want to add is Captain America: Civil War released on early this month in Indonesia! YAAS! (◕‿◕✿) But sadly, unlike so many MCUs installment that I will manage to watch on the premiere date, I cannot watch it on the first day. So many things to take care of. WHY. But I actually watched it for two times at my local cinema. YES, it was great. BUT ALSO FRIGGIN YES, it was HEARTBREAKING. GOD DAMN IT, STEVE! WHY YOU HURT TONY??? ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Ugh, sorry, I'm so mad at Steve Rogers even till this exact day. I friggin hate you, Steve.

 

Also, this movie make me ship Stony so hard even more, I CANNOT.

• June

Well, believe it or not, starting of this month, my stories will get so lame and boring.
And maybe in between that, I will also tell you many unfortunatess event in my life (since my life basically a never ending circle of failures and unfortunate events, lol). Short to say that nothing exciting happened. My brief work at SDM UGM ended, and I basically have nothing do other than daydreaming for my next step. I also would like to say that I'm a little bit slowing down on this month after a rushed and pumped three past months. Maybe its my unconscious that telling me to do so and take a little break, maybe it's because the holy month of Ramadhan, or maybe I'm just a very lazy ass muthafuqah. Ugh. 😴😴😴
Anee-way, things that I want to highlight are (1) I did coloring my hair!! For the first time in forever, lool. I paint my hair with ombre colors of light brown to purple. Its a great color, but sadly I didn't enjoying much my color due to few things that suddenly happened soon after I colored my hairs. But it washed out into a beautiful pinkish color. (2) A devastating moments happened this month. Sinta's father passed away on this June. I kinda forget the exact that, but its before Ramadhan. I really have no idea that her father's health deterioration would led into this devastating news. May the late Sinta's father rest in peace. (3) Another sad news, on this month, Anton Yelchin passed away at the age of 27, a month before the Star Trek Beyond released. It is truly a sad loss. I thought on 8th of July we'll gonna celebrate the 50th anniversary of Star Trek with bells and whistles, but we have to loss our precious crew a month before franchise anniversary. So hearbreaking. So long, прапорщик Чехов, Павел Андреевич. Вам будет недоставать, любовь моя. (4) Nabilah is coming back to town!! YASS, my baby bff is coming back home. We did arrange a bukber (buka berdua, or preferably buka berdosa since neither one of us being fasting dat day, lmao) at Sushi Tei. (6) Me and My family planned and booked a trip to Hong Kong, Macau, and Shenzhen (5) Lastly, me and Bandari did made a (late) our graduation celebration with Taek-A at Tentrem Hotel. We arrange a bukber aka dinner there, to celebrate life, togetherness, and being thankful for everythings. Yes, life's always has it ups and downs, but at least with these peoples by my side, things ain't gonna be that bad.

• July

Another month, another lame story with lack of progress. On July, the Ramadhan month continues and we finally celebrate the Ied El-Fitr early this month. Our family celebrated it properly like we usually celebrate it, Shalat Ied, sungkeman, visiting our relatives, things like that. And, since Ied El-Fitr kinda cordial with family bonding and vacations, we also gone for a short trip and escape. We went to shore areas in Bantul area, such Pantai Samas and Pantai Goa Cemara. A few days after that, we also gone for a little hiking. We visited some great outdoors in Gunung Kidul area, specifically Pathuk. Like, Gunung Api Purba Nglanggeran, Embung Nglanggeran, and end up having lunch at Pantai Pok Tunggal. Nice experience.
That's actually all, if I want I could combine July and August in one subheading. But there is another thing I want to talk about in this month, which is The 50th Anniversary of Star Trek Franchises and Star Trek Beyond!

Star Trek Beyond released in Indonesia in the middle of July. Although its disappointing trailer, this movie is unbelievably awesome! It is everything every Trekkies want on the first place. Exciting plot and thrilling action till the end, space adventure themes screamed everywhere, bridge crew (even the entire enterprise's crew) feels. Also among other things, this movie gave us a proper appreciation towards the original series cast, along with a proper goodbye towards the late Nimoy and Yelchin. No, they are not blowing up our Original Series legacy, they keeping up the series spirits alive. And I'm about to cry everytime I watch this beautiful movie.

 

and how could I did not mentions BROMANCES (+mckirk!!!!), also MORE SCREENTIME FOR BONES (YAAAS ٩( ﾟヮﾟ)۶) I'M SO HAPPY!!! (｡◕‿‿◕｡)

OHMYGOD, look at my babies!!!!!!(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

• August

On August, I did nothing much except for getting information and preparing documents for scholarship. My parents and my aunts family went to Jakarta to attend my cousins engagement party. But, unfortunate things happened. In the same time, my grandmum's health deteriorating rapidly. Her condition get worsen, that my Mum eventually did not 100% attended the engagement. Mum's stayed at Jakarta afterwards, while Father came back home. This week where the chaos begin. As I mentioned on June, we've already booked an overseas trip. And due to my grandmum health deterioration, we cannot take the risk of going on a vacation while her condition could get worsen in any times. My parents decided to pending our trip, and leave the responsibility to do so to me. Whoa, I really need to mention that it was a whole new super-tiring and horrific experience for me. 😥😥😥 I need rechecked and rescheduling our departure date, contacted the airline to reschedule our flight (AND yeah, rescheduling an international flight is super duper rempong, not to mention super expensive, tho ಥ_ಥ), I contacted our four hotel at three different country to cancel our booking and eventually make another booking, which is not easy since many of their rooms booked. WHOA, whatta experience. It was horrific, but it was so, so worth it. I cannot imagine if I'm unable to did that thing properly. Plus, I gain many skill in communicating, coordinating, and traveling. Lmao.

As in for fandoming things, I'm watching BIGBANG10: MADE The Movie. A documentary movie about BIGBANG's latest concert, MADE that being held for celebrating BIGBANG's 10th years anniversary. Luckily, my local cinema palying this movie so I am able to enjoy this movie. THIS MOVIE IS LIT! (◕‿◕✿) I'm so proud of my babies!💖

 
Holy, Moly, I only intent this to be a two-shoot, why it end up more????
Well yeah, let's continue to another piece of my lame story. Off to the next post, we go!

xoxo,
K♥

2016: A Summary (Part 1)

I mean, gimana ceritanya sih 2016 udah mau abis aja?????

Ehem. Jadi gini. 
Karena (mostly) saya gabut, dan sadar kalau 2016 tinggal 2 BULAN LAGI (ikr???? Dua bulan lagi, how come???). So I decided that I will make a little summary. Just a little notes thingy, you know, in order to keeping my memory straight. It just like, 2016 is such a hard-ass year for me. There are so many breakthrough happened this year, at least for my personal self. I feel like I'm growing into something, and I wouldn't let this progress slipped away. I don't want every bit of it sunk into another shapeless memories. Well, let's get it started then!

• January 

Hey, I usually love January! It's like, a good place to start over or something, right? Not to mention, it's my birth-month. Lol. So yes, January then. In a brief word, I remembered my January as struggle. I mean, I'm basically struggle in daily basis, but here I'm mostly talking about my undergraduate-thesis. Back in 7th Semester day, I set my goals to be able to graduated in February. But, it's another pepesan kosong, tho... ☹☹  So yeah, I didn't make it through February batch. Things that I regret the most is I gave up my new years eve (as well as Mum's birthday on January 2nd) at Lampung due to finishing my thesis, while it eventually didn't finished on January as I planned. But hey, at least I tried. I guess. (On a second thought, I got an exam on the last day of 2015, so maybe it's not exactly pointless missing the new years eve.)
OH, I also got a straight A in this 7th Semester. SOO, yeay?? Finally I made it after 3,5 years in college. HAHAHA. (sorry I brag, but seriously, this is my blog, I write what I want) 
After 18th of January (which is I personally called "the day I accept the inevitable"), my thesis progress is so god-damn-slow. Because, you know, personal healing and writers blocking. And finally, the day I turn 22. It was a fair birthday, my first (and hopefully not the last) birthday I got to celebrate with my mate, Taek-A (I'll introduce them later. Yes, I know I will procrastinate. No, I still want to write about them BUT later.). They're actually did their best with the suppose to be surprise, but still, knowing them, it is a total failure, lol.
Fast forward, on January 30th, me and my family went to Jakarta in order to giving my Opung a birthday surprise. It was wonderful. I personally feel very happy we actually made it through the party on that special day, knowing the truth that we cannot did that again next year.

*huhuhu, michin deushiiii, nunmuri naaa* *sfx: 2AM*

• February 

Nothing much happened. I still did my struggling towards my thesis. I mean, idk that it would be that hard. I used to think I will be able to get done with this mess once I taking the thesis seriously, but I completely wrong. It is hard. My frickin' thesis is hard as rock, tapi ya, untung shayang sama hukum lingkungan. Jadi ya, keep calm and read the journals, dude.

In line of talking the self-esteem issue, the February Graduation's batch is coming along. My self-esteem was kinda ruined, but hey, at least my colleagues did great. Wahyu did make it as one of the wisudawan list, as well as 14 fellas (I guess? If I'm not mistaken, tho) from our angkatan 2012.
Oh, also Abah's birthday is on February 27th! We did some surprise. You know, by the holy advice aka Titah from Tetet, we made a some-kind-of-party-planner-birthday-surprise-but-not-even-close. I personally remember that as super-rempong birthday surprise, lol. But at the end of the day, It was a success. We bring the party and enjoy the night, as always.

• March

I FINALLY made some progress. I spent almost everyday in J.Co Lippo Mall or Perpus Lantai 3. Because, you know, I can't trust my room nor Rumah's WIFI. I always end up doing something else instead of writing. So yeah, my thesis finally decided to spoke to me and gave me some senses. I work my ass out. BUT I still feel like I'm running out of time. Hell, Bandari was doing so good with her thesis, her draft was already finished like a long time ago and actually get reviewed so many times. While, on the other hands, I haven't finished my draft. My heart did a little jump when I heard Bandari's got her Acc while I basically not even doing any official progress ಥ_ಥ
Thankfully, on March 15th I (frickin' finally) Finished my draft and brought it to my DPS to get it reviewed. Little did I know contacting your lecturer was a total nightmare. I can't reach him at so many times. I mean, I did collected my draft and he got my thesis. But I didn't get any respond afterwards. I did text him at March 23rd but I still haven't got response. HUHUHU. Good news came in March 27th when I finally man up and text him for the second time. AND HE DID REPLY. He ask me to met him on March 30th. Thump-thump-thump.
AND, in a brief sentence, *drumrolls* the meeting goes very well! We did talk here and there about the issues that being brought to my thesis. He asked me to points out my conclusion, and I guess I explained it very well. Lol. Soon after, he just asked me to fixed up my footnote and daftar pustaka, and I quote "udah sih itu aja, habis itu saya Acc".
YEAAAY!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

 OH! Also, Bandari's birthday is on 18th. I did make some props, and we throw a surprise on Koki Joni. It was one of hella fun night (thanks to bean boozled challenge and stuff, lol).

• April

Even though I already got the "Nanti Saya Acc" on March, I got my official Acc on April 4th. Hell, It was a lot of penantian though, HEHEHE. Bandari juga sama sih, walaupun doi duluan acc dibanding saya, she haven't got the jadwal sidang yet until I get my Acc. Kalau hukum lingkungan sih selo, begitu acc → urus administrasi → minta ttd dps, dpa → ketemu ketua departemen → dapet jadwal sama penguji. Nah, perdata yang berada ribet penantian. ( ⚆ _ ⚆)
So, after I got my jadwal sidang (which is on April 11th), I heard from Bandari that we got the same day. Wo-hoo, what a coincidence! It such a pleasure to be able to fighting together on the same day with her! (Since, you know, she's my friend from day 0 in FH UGM). Long short story (I will save the full story on another post, YES ANOTHER POST. I JUST WILL, OKAY.), Me and Bandari did graduated from law school! AW-YEAH! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) ♫･*:.｡. .｡.:*･
And soon after the thesis defense, I need to move fast and get done with revisi (which is, revisi kata pengantar just because it contains unacademic words such as 'ghibah'. UGH. WHY??), and soon after I need to ngurus wisuda. WHICH IS, Innallaha ma'ashobirin laa haula walaa quwwata illa billahil ‘aliyyil ‘adziim, gue rasa lebih susah ngurus wisudanya lho daripada sidangnya. Gile bener nih ya. I do not exactly remembuh apa aja syarat wisuda, but I distinctly remember it was so much rempong than what's written on the list. Berkali-kali lho gue ditolak sana-sini buat ngurus wisuda, gimana ceritanya nih udah lulus tapi skripsinya di tolak mulu. ಠ╭╮ಠ
But, anyway, I did completed the syarat wisuda tanggal 18 April. Which is 2 hari sebelum penutupan. Emang si kampret.

Another things to add, are (1) Adek's birthday on April 7th. I, once again, did the prep, and throwing some birthday surprise in her room. It kinda fail, but It was still okay? LOL. (2) We did a little escape in Kalibiru, it was a fun experience tho! (3) Soon after I completed the syarat wisuda, I got a call from Academic asking me to assist some project in Direktorat Sumber Daya Manusia UGM. And, yeah, It was a very interesting opportunity. I took the project with my old-time working partner (lol, we did literally working together in so many group projects tho in the past), Anas. So you guess it right, it was end up 'ngekek-ngekek saja' while actually adding some decent things on my CV. HA! ☜(˚▽˚)☞

It was all for this post, jump to the next part!

xoxo,
K♥

Reminder

Trust

Nick Fury: [holds a photo of Alexander Pierce] This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize. He said that peace is not an achievement, but a responsibility. It's stuff like this that gives me trust issues. — Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury in Captain America : The Winter Soldier

Nick Fury does have his point.
And I'm here to following orders, Sir. Let's just not trust...

In The Middle of Thinking (and Decided That My Head Isn't Really A Good Place for Thinking)

*BY THE WAY, pls ignore the last box!!! lawl :''D*

(image credits : 9gag)

So whats changed?
Hampir tidak ada. Langitnya tetap biru, dindingku tetap bisu, dan hati dia tetap beku. Justru saya kini berusaha ekstra keras agar tidak ada yang berubah. Saya terpaksa untuk membuktikan kebenaran dari inersia­—bahwa benda memiliki kecenderungan untuk mempertahankan keadaannya, menolak perubahan terhadap keadaan geraknya atau diamnya. Mempertahankan posisi semulanya. Satu hal yang tidak boleh terlupakan dari inersia adalah bahwa benda tegar selalu memiliki inersia lebih besar.
Saya harus membuktikan bahwa saya cukup tegar.

Did they ever really loved you?
Ya, Bisa jadi, Tidak. Pertanyaan ini mengingatkan saya pada game show televisi yang sempat terkenal tempo hari. Games di mana kita harus memberondong lawan bicara kita dengan begitu banyak pertanyaan, sementara mereka hanya menjawab dengan tiga kata tersebut. Setelah saya pikir, seperti itulah perasaan saya pada dia. Saya tidak pernah melontarkan pertanyaan untuk dia, dan dia tidak pernah menjawab apapun untuk saya. Tetapi saya punya jutaan pertanyaan dalam kepala yang selalu berakhir dengan "Ya, namun bisa jadi tidak."
Saya tidak pernah menyatakan apa-apa, dia tidak pernah menjawab apa-apa. Sejauh yang saya tahu, dia hanya menjawab "Iya" untuk ia. Sementara ia, saya rasa ia begitu menyukai keadaan "Bisa Jadi" saja. Wajar, sejauh ini dunia seakan berotasi mengelilinginya. Semoga saja ia sadar bahwa rotasi bumi sekalipun akan berhenti jika memang sudah waktunya.
Saya tidak tahu apakah ini pemikiran gegabah atau tidak, yang jelas, saya ingin keduanya menjawab "Tidak" untuk saya.

Has anyone ever really loved you?
... Jujur, setelah saya banyak menyelam dalam pikiran saya sendiri, pertanyaan ini adalah pertanyaan yang kerap muncul dalam benak saya. Mendapatkan pertanyaan ini saya justru ingin balik bertanya. Adakah?
Saya ini kelewat pesimistik, bahkan untuk diri saya sendiri.

Saya terbiasa menciptakan tanda tanya setelah menerima suatu fakta. Pada dasarnya, saya selalu membiasakan diri untuk berhenti sejenak ketika menyadari bahwa saya tengah berdiri pada sisi yang sama dengan orang lain. Ketika semua orang percaya bahwa suatu hal adalah kebenaran, saat itu pula saya meragu dan bertanya, apa iya?

Kadang, satu pertanyaan saja bisa sangat menggelitik dalam pikiran saya. Kini, saya mendapatkan tiga.

Saya ingin mengutuk diri saya.

-
-
Relatable Mindset → Pertanyaan, Saya, Pikiran.
SO ITS CRYSTAL I'M NOT BITTER CAUSE I'M NEUTERED x"D
But those fanart (is it even counted as a fanart? or maybe cartoon then?), did really made me stop and think; and decided to write something about it.
I actually dunno where the hell this is started (and also, I don't really think this one is a relatable things), but let's just said that something unfortunate has happened. Somethings that I presume as inevitably since from the beginning, but still it would give you a bitter sting when its actually happened.

The last part caught me, tho. Has anyone out there ever really loved you? Maybe you're just unlovable.

Bisa jadi.

Xoxo,
K

In Heroes We Trust.

Sorry, I've been very lazy nowadays. Whats bugging me? College things first, of course, and many other matters I have to get straight before I am selo (or basically, in the mood) enough to write this journal. Well, I owe this journal many story, I guess.

So! Yeah, Captain America : The Winter Soldier then for first.

Director : Joseph Russo, Anthony Russo

Writer(s) : Stephen McFeely, Christopher Markus

Running Time : 136 mins

Rated : PG-13

IMDb Rating : 8,0 / 10

Stars : Do I really need to mention them? xP

I was watching the movie for a second time before deciding to made this review. Because, dude, first impression is not worth enough for me to fall—Lol! From the IMDb, the headline plot was simple "Steve Rogers struggles to embrace his role in the modern world and battles a new threat from old history: the Soviet agent known as the Winter Soldier." And, of course, its not that simple.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (CA:TWS) is sequel to the first movie, Captain America : The First Avengers, and also the third installment of Marvel Cinematic Universe's Phase 2 after Iron Man 3 and Thor : The Dark World. Compared with other two movies, CA:TWS got a more important plot to that phase.

CA:TWS taking plot two years after the battle of new york, where Cap finally trying to adapt with the future by deciding to help S.H.I.E.L.D doing mission. The movie start with a mission where Captain America and Black Widow along with STRIKE team of S.H.I.E.L.D need to rescue the hostages of a pirate-hijacked S.H.I.E.L.D ship. The mission accomplished, as expected. But leaving the Cap furious because it turns out Natasha had gotten a secret mission which was to receive some S.H.I.E.L.D data from the ship, to a USB-stick arrousing suspicion from Steve. He's then questioning Nick Fury and Fury answer it by introducing Steve with Insight Project, which Steve doesn't accept. "This is not freedom. This is fear..." He said and then left. After the talk, Fury was begin wondering, checking some files that protected and that suspicious. Fury decide to postpone the Insight Project and misteriously killed after that. Fury's death leaving Cap and Natasha many questions and led them to another battle. The battle of S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA.

The movie has a very amazing plot, battle scenes, very well scripted and also filled with socio-cultural critic to the world. If we talking about effects and cinematographs, Marvel is always superb at that things. But I personally think that the film somehow lack with bgm / sfx or maybe its just because i always enjoy the power of music behind any action of movie, lol. However, this movie has a different approach from other marvel movie, CA:TWS came with more serious and darker plot. Quoting another reviewer in IMDb (which I am so agree with) "This is not the typical fun, 'not-so-serious', entertaining Marvel film that you used to watch in the past. You might like it or find it a bore. In order to recognize some of the characters in the film, you need to remember some of Marvel's Phase One films. Most importantly, you need to watch Captain America: The First Avenger before watching this to understand the plot."

But actually you don't have to worry about the fun part. Eventually, this movie has some balance at that. For example, CA:TWS bring you a more another personality of Natasha Romanoff which give you more bright side to this film. Also, she did many witty banter with Steve also tease him a lot. So do Falcon, who bring the movie more color. Other than that, I already told you that the movie is well scripted, you won't get bored with the conversation between any character. Plus, if you a Marvel fans, you'll get many references you'll be certainly pleased about. Let me spoil you a bit, you can hunt for this name : "Stephen Stranger". Ring a bell? ;)

To be honest, I was kinda disappointing at first because I was expecting a very fun and exciting movie, but it turns out that 'fun' isn't something for describing the plot, at least not 100%. But after rewatching, I do feel that this was a very brilliant movie. This was what a superhero movie should be. Action-packed, thrilling till the end, serious but still fun plot and absolutely unpredictable that give you shock (in a good way). Major plus point for a great casts and the well written script. The movie is worth seeing if you're a Marvel fans or follower of Marvel Cinematic Universe. For non-marvel fans, you can still enjoying the movie, but I would strongly recommend you to at least watched Captain America : The First Avengers first.

Most importantly for Marvel Fans, I'm pretty sure that this movie will give you many reference for other Marvel Cinematic Universe in the future, especially Avengers : Age of Ultron. So, make sure you watch this movie (and NO, you don't need me to remind you to stay for the mid-credit and post-credit scenes, are you?). DEFINITELY, must watch movie, fellas!

"HYDRA, S.H.I.E.L.D., two sides of a coin that's no longer currency." — Baron Wolfgang von Strucker

So, which side are you, S.H.I.E.L.D or HYDRA?

xoxo,
K ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

Keeping My Sanity

I'm actually don't know what to write, but it feels like I need to do it. Well, it keeps my sanity stay, though. Other than fandom-ing (is it really a word, lmao), this is things that keep me in one piece, really.

So, Hello!

How's life? Nah, its all fine, just fine. Not a perfectly smooth one neither a total mess, but at least nothing's goes wrong by the time I'm writing this. Except for I'm now in my mid-term week and so friggin many this semester's subjects haunted me into some exhausted point, gotta say. So, merely saying, that I'm actually need to study for this monday test, but I'm too unmotivated to do such a thing—duh. Not to mention that this fourth semester's materials is a total pain in the ass, it wore my brains out dude. God, I hate law schools...

Anyway, I'm now officially a part of journalism organization in my university level, I've been accepted in the R&D department. Its actually have been long way and long story before I get officially inaugurated. Many tasks need to be handled simultaneously with my faculty things. Not really an easy one, tho. (especially for me, the one who never did many things too handle at the same time and socially retarded). But, hey, at least I'm accomplishing something in here.

Fandom things? Hmm, I'm actually kinda inactive this past few weeks. The things that keeping me in touch with my fandom is phone-tumblring and reading some fics, its all happened again after I've done my tasks, which is merely this past few days (and its friggin corrupted by this on-going mid-term week, ugh). I've been craving for continuing watching Star Trek TOS, Almost Human, or Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D, but I don't really got a time TT_TT  but Thank God, I still got a chance to watch Captain America : The Winter Soldier's premier at my local cinema. I think I'm gonna write some review about it later, but, need to say this movie is a TRULY good stuff. Action-packed and very unpredictable plot. Love it!

So basically this post just me being grouchy about things happened recently. But the shits will stop, eventually. And after this mid-term done, I'm going to Bali for such an escape from my very exhausting reality. So excited and looking forward for some sun, beaches, and summer breeze there, hopefully its turn out into a good and relaxing one!

Leonard McCoy said once, a little suffering is good for soul. So be it.
I need to passed all this suffer to achieved the good things, yo.


(((('SCUSE ME, but WHY you need to relate every SINGLE thing with Star Trek or McKirk, self??))))

Sorry, but, I'm not sorry. 

Fiiiigght~~ ( ‾▿‾)9
K♥

Life Long and Prosper.

So, another birthday post appreciation. Well, it's midnight and it's my twentieth birthday, and all I did after all this years was joining another fandom...

...how productive.

ohgodtheimagessoprettyicanevenlol

Okay, serious part.
So, yes, self-birthday wishes for year ahead. I don't asked many, just be functional. You don't need to be happy, self. Damn it, you don't even need to be okay—just be friggin functional and do whatever you need to do. Just, accomplish something, do the right things, stay healthy and stuff.
And do something interesting if you have any chances. Even its you, but still, you can't please everyone every damn time, please do something for yourself at least once.

*captain kirk and doctor mccoy approves; lol*

Since its my birthday and I love mckirk to death, so I just gonna make them toast for me and hugged each other as my birthday present.

*bgm : Kangen Band - Terbang Bersamaku*

*WHAT???????*

Actually, January 20th is also Dr. Leonard H. McCoy and the late DeForest Kelley birthday, so, yippie! Happy birthday to you too, bby. Love you to the moon and back!!! 

 

 

DeForest Kelley should be turning 94 if he's still alive by now, it's a pity that I never had a chance to know him before he passed away. From what I know, from what he'd remembered for, he was a very, very gentle gentleman. A humble man and very dearly loved friend.

Happy birthday, Sir! I wish that I would have had the chance to meet you and let you know just how much your role in the Trek world has meant to all of trekkies.

For a great man he is, Rest in Peace. You have been always and shall be dearly missed.

*ugh how much nimoy missed him is killing me, just UGH*

May his memory Life Long and Prosper.

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SO telling me again why I'm turning my birthday appreciation post into something melodramatic about De Kelley? GOD HELP ME, i'm nearly in tears right now because of him ;A;

Gotta out by now, just hoping 2014 will be okay.

(ps  i wasted about 2 hours to made this post, JUST why...)

xoxo,

Karin.

Ia dan Dia

Awalnya, semua ini akan dia akhiri dengan sesuatu yang eksekusi-nya terasa begitu cantik, seperti :

Boleh aku pinjam lagi hatimu? ━ [sender: ia] 

Maaf, sudah ada yang meminjam nya. ━ [sender: dia]

Kenyataannya, dia masih belum bisa mengakhiri sebagaimana mestinya.

Mengakhiri ia bukanlah perkara gampang, apalagi karena ia tidak pernah benar-benar hilang. Karena pada akhirnya ia akan datang dan dia akan selalu menerima ia dengan begitu lapang.

Karena tidak pernah ada penyelesaian, bayangan dari akhir selalu terasa samar.

Namun pertanyaan sebenarnya bukan tentang bagaimana mengakhirinya, melainkan ada pada kontradiksi dari suatu penyelesaian—bagaimana mungkin menyelesaikan sesuatu yang tidak pernah dimulai?

Baik, mungkin ini absurd.

Bicara tentang permulaan, pertemuan ia dan dia berawal pada sepotong malam. Mereka bertemu pada malam begitu gelap, gelap hingga membuat dia tak dapat menemukan jalan pulang, kebingungan meniti langkah menuju rumah. Dia lantas bertemu ia yang datang menawarkan pundak untuk berpegangan, menawarkan arah untuk kembali pulang, menawarkan lentera dan berkata "Ikuti aku saja!". Entah bagaimana ceritanya hingga dia berjalan sesuai perintah ia, memegang pundaknya dan melangkah bersamanya.

Ketika perjalanan malam itu berakhir, dia berterima kasih atas jalan pulang yang ditawarkan, ia tersenyum ringan dan menyatakan bahwa itu sudah seharusnya ia lakukan, lantas keduanya berpisah tanpa satupun beban. Bagaimanapun, dia tidak menyimpan curiga, tidak terbersit apapun terkait pertemuan mereka━apalagi sampai berpikir akan ada pertemuan selanjutnya.

Meski, ya, tentu saja, mereka bertemu untuk kali kedua dan seterusnya.

Tidak pernah ada kejanggalan memang. Semuanya terasa begitu wajar, seperti apa adanya. Pertemuan mereka terjadi tanpa waktu yang pasti, seringkali pada terangnya pemilik hari, namun tidak menutup pula pada kesempatan sepoi nya sore hari, atau bahkan kembali pada gelapnya hari seperti awal mereka pertama kali bertatap muka. Ia dan Dia bertegur sapa, berbicara, berkelakar, semuanya terjadi begitu saja. Tidak ada yang aneh dari pertemuan mereka, tidak ada ekslusivitas di antara keduanya. Kebersamaan mereka tidak dirindukan, tidak pula perlu dielakkan. Semuanya terjadi tanpa satupun perasaan terlintas di antara mereka━dan ia dan dia tidak pernah mempermasalahkan ada atau tidaknya hal itu di antara mereka.

Tetapi seiring berjalannya waktu, “seperti apa adanya” nampaknya sudah tidak ada lagi di dalam pertemuan ia dan dia.

Berawal dari jauhnya interval pertemuan antara ia dan dia, lantas dia—yang memang perasa—kemudian mendapati ia begitu sering berkeliaran sehingga tidak luput dari dia. Kali ini semuanya terjadi dalam dunia tidak ada, dalam dunia yang awalnya tidak terjamah oleh ia dan dia. Jujur saja, pada pertemuan sebelumnya keduanya tidak begitu lazim dengan pertemuan di sana. Karena tiada gunanya, jika dipikir sekian lama. Dunia tidak ada hanya untuk sesuatu yang picisan dan pertemuan ia dan dia bukanlah suatu yang demikian.

Kemudian, semua terasa kian benar adanya. Pertemuan mereka pada akhirnya kian picisan, semua interaksi mereka terasa manis dan menyenangkan. Ia dan dia berbicara tentang keseharian, tentang perjalanan, tentang mencari dan menemukan, tentang terbit dan tenggelam. Tentang hal-hal yang tidak yang perlu untuk dibicarakan, sehingga apa yang perlu dibicarakan tidak pernah terungkapkan.

Kehadiran ia adalah tanda tanya besar bagi dia, namun dia tidak pernah mau langsung menanyakannya. Melontarkan kata tanya bisa jadi adalah cara paling jitu untuk mengetahui maksud keberadaan mereka, namun sekaligus menghilangkan semuanya. Dia, yang pada awalnya tidak pernah menyimpan kecurigaan, kini hanya tidak ingin kehilangan. Maka semua itu urung juga ditanyakan. Lamat-lamat dia menabung rindu, rindu yang menimbulkan candu, candu yang membuat dia tidak dapat lagi bersikap seperti dahulu. Tidak ada yang tidak dipermasalahkan dari kehadiran ia, tidak ada satupun yang biasa dari ia bagi dia, tidak ada. Pertemuan ia dan dia bukan lagi seperti apa adanya, bukan lagi seperti seharusnya.

Sampai akhirnya tidak ada pertemuan lagi di antara mereka.

Setelah jauh menyelam pada kubangan malam dan pagi, pertemuan ia dan dia hilang sama sekali. Tidak di dunia ada, tidak di dunia tiada, bahkan tidak dunia antara. Dia lantas berusaha untuk menghilangkan kemungkinan pertemuan antara mereka. Meniadakan debar dalam dadanya, mengubur dalam-dalam pertanyaan yang tersimpan dalam pikirannya, lantas kemudian memecahkan celengan rindu yang kini isinya berupa udara malam hari tempat mereka bertemu pertama kali. Celengan berisi dingin dan sepi. Semuanya dilakukannya karena hatinya sudah tidak berbentuk lagi, sudah kehilangan rasa yang tadinya dimunculkan lantas ditinggalkan.
Dia sudah selesai dengan semuanya, bahkan ketika ia mengadakan pertemuan lagi, dia hampir berhasil mengakhirinya dengan kalimat yang tertulis di awal cerita.

Jika saja ia tidak kembali dengan  “mencari”

Ini penting sekali. Tidak ada yang bisa selain kamu. - [sender: ia]

dan Ia selalu tahu, bahwa dia adalah sebuah tempat di mana ia dapat selalu “menemukan”

Maaf, aku benar-benar tidak bisa meminjamkannya. (delete-delete-delete)

Baiklah, kamu bisa menemuiku malam ini. - [sender: dia]

Oleh karenanya, pertemuan ia dan dia kembali terulang.
Sekalipun dia tahu bahwa untuk mengakhiri mereka adalah dengan tidak mengulang. Sekalipun dia tahu bahwa pengulangan akan menyisakan penyesalan karena semuanya akan kembali menghilang.

Seandainya dia begitu tabah dalam kehilangan.

19012014 || 23:52

Yogyakarta, delapan menit sebelum dua puluh.

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Jadi, kuputuskan kalo ini bukan relatable XD

Fix cuma sekedar short-fiction yang idenya udah berabad-abad lalu dan aseli gatau muncul keinginan buat nyelesaiin ini malem ini, yah, mungkin sekedar pengingat aja kali ya━this delapan menit sebelum dua puluh thing or idk whatta call it, lol.

Well, anyway, I got a train to catch. See ya!

Hugz,

Karin.

Constellations

At the end, even with a drifted path or some interval, gravity always pull the earth and sun under one certain constellation.

 

Kadang, saya ingin berpikir bahwa semestalah yang sengaja menyatukan...

Anggaplah saya mengumpakan kita. Ya, saya dan kamu. Umpamakan kita itu ada, kita itu sedang, kita itu memang. Saya ingin mengumpakan kita sebagai matahari yang selalu pulang pada bumi. Matahari dan bumi selalu kembali. Sekalipun gelapnya malam sudah merajai, sekalipun dinginnya malam tak terelakkan lain. Kita kembali pada pagi.

Kita akan selalu bersama meski berjeda.

Peranmu adalah matahari dan peranku bumi. Matahari akan selalu kembali menyinari dan bumi akan selalu menyambutnya dengan pagi. Kita ini konstelasi.

Namun aku terlalu buta akan konsepsi, sampai melupakan kontelasi tidak akan terjadi tanpa gravitasi. Kita tidak terjadi tanpa kenyataan. Kita hanya perumpaaman. Mungkin syaa yang terlalu keras kepala dengan terus menyatakan bahwa kita ini takdir Tuhan.

Semesta tidak pernah menyatukan apa-apa.

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Relatable mindset → Semesta, Konstelasi, Kita.

Kayaknya sih ini akibat dipikir sambil kebanyakan nonton Star Trek, DUH. Habisan jadi yang diomongin soal konstelasi, matahari, bumi, lalala yeyeye -__- Hmmm, tapi sih selain itu, ini juga follow up dari beberapa kejadian(?) dan tweets beberapa waktu yang lalu. Intinya, jadi kepingin banget bikin relatable mindset dengan aliran universe deh :3

Well, gotta admit that this is the most unsatisfying relatable i've ever made, pfft.

(ps: image credits, not mine. All from googles)

Till then,

K♥